I think I’m still in a state of shock. We all know people who have problems. We help, offer help, ignore, turn the blind eye, whatever our response but we never expect a quick death.
A mother, age 52, with a son at home should not die.
I worry that family members will want to take the blame, “Why didn’t we see this coming”, “Why didn’t we do more”, “If only…” but they shouldn’t. They gave this woman their love, help, and support. It is a tragic accident.
I have always thought that the demons we all have are only slightly below the surface. When I see someone with problems I’m thankful my demons are still hidden. I try not to judge people when these demons have control unless they refuse to acknowledge their demons. If they realize their problems and are working to fight back against the demons I support them.
Life is a wonderful thing but it is so fragile. People can be taken from you in the blink of an eye. When you think you have time to help, or to tell someone how much you care, suddenly the time is gone.
I was brought up a loner, by a loner mother, but I always knew I was loved. My family, although not the most emotional or close, was supportive in their own way of my hopes and dreams. When I married into this new family I was struck by the closeness of the family. I guess growing up on a farm, depending on each other, being close in age, had created a closeness I didn’t feel from my own family. But I did come to realize that the closeness was not as close as it seemed. Although they communicate frequently and support each other they do not really listen to each other. They all live their own lives and hide problems from each other just as much as most families.
I think most of them were shocked at the problems that led to their sister dying. The sister, although from a close family, obviously felt very alone. Their is no one in the family that would not have done anything they could to help her in any way they could. But the demons do not allow us to ask for help. The demons tell us they know best.
